Showing posts with label Emeth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emeth. Show all posts

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Monsieur Concasseur des Fourmis!

This came home with Emeth not too long ago. Who knew a seven year old could be such a master of irony, sarcasm, deadpan, surrealism, and horror, in such a terse, minimalist style. We have noooooooo idea where he gets it from.


The monster was as tall as a centipede. Not so tall. The monster had teeth all over its head and had barf on its eyes. The teeth were so sharp everybody had to wear high-heels. The eyes were so gross nobody looked. The monster was so huge it could crush an ant. That was the only thing that he could crush so he just did it. The monster was so hungry it ate somebody's whole life savings. The person was so mad they called the cops. I think I'll call the monster Mr._ant_crusher.

And if that wasn't disturbing enough, here's another odd little piece he wrote with a classmate. They were assigned the name Charlie to use.

Charlie is an alien (I know) 
There once was a male alien named Charlie. Charlie has green eyes. He hated his family so he punched them and ran away and went to earth. Charlie found a couple of humans, and a murderer that tried to kill him, but he was too fast, so he went back to space (not where his parents live). He went to Saturn and he went to Saturn's refreshment store and he bought Space World's famous coke. Then he got sick and fell back to earth. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," said Charlie. 
The END. 
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."
That's our Em. Perfectly normal, and well adjusted, Em!

Thursday, 2 October 2014

This Blog Is Made By Emeth

Today at school it was the first october it was kind of misty outside

[The author's selfie!]
reset
sh
go 215100
pw 1
tr 45
pw 2
pc 645558
bw 40
tl 45
pw 19
fw 45
go 1150
sh
fontsize 11
print "Hello dude i'm waving at you!"
cc 53255195

[The author's kturtle code]
It was the second day with my new class it was a pretty nice day (for me) I had D.P.A [daily physical activity] out side in the mist (I like getting wet) and it was pizza day after school (I liked going home in the rain) I made some thing on Kturtle (that was pretty awesome)... But I also got a (Dun Dun Dun) seriously it was just a headache! By the way my teacher (that I have now) is pretty nice, I used to have Mme Huffman at a french school (you probably know that because of Mme Huffman. (THIS IS A WEIRD TITLE!!!!) O.K back to the serious stuff, so it was a 99% good day at school just because of that headache!
Next stuff...
Why I Got A New Teacher
Well it was kind of confusing for Mme Huffman to have a grade one and two class and the principal thought it would be better to have a just grade two class and and there is one good thing and one bad thing about my class 1. my class have A WHOLE TON of windows 2. the bad thing we have cubbies [rather than lockers].

But my class is still pretty good P.S my class has NO TOYS so we don't do free time!

[The author's headache
(dramatic re-enactment selfie)]

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Jet Pack Bird

Emeth has surely one-upped God on this this one. Behold the awesome redundancy...


 ... how did this glorious design come to be? What fantastic purpose do these afterburning enhancements serve? What incredible capabilities do these new rocketous appendages bring? Is it for speed? Endurance? Is it for the maneuvability? Power? Is it a safety feature in case a wing gets winged or somehow clipped?

Reports the creator: "It's so he can spread peanut butter on toast while flying!"

Genius.

Friday, 27 September 2013

Foggy Morning

"I like the fog. It puts into me better stories." -- Emeth

Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Bereaved by Ash Borers

This morning things looked like the first picture.

This afternoon, the second...

And we are not the only one....
The remains....


Meanwhile... as I mourn and document the tree... Emeth decides it'll be hilarious to lock me out. Kids. Delightful creatures. A real comfort at times.


So long... tree.

Monday, 6 May 2013

Emeth's first video (Poppy's been demoted)

So apparently Emeth, at 6 years old, had some creative issues with the video of him skateboarding that I last posted. Too much Istra, among other complaints. He asked me how "hard" it is to make a video. When I told him it's not too hard for the basic stuff, just a bit tedious, he said: "Okay, I'll make my own video". He hauled me outside to shoot all new footage at his (whispered) direction (though strangely now not complaining about Istra being around). He also had been saying he was going to do some "falling off, on purpose".. because that's the main part he liked in my video... but this also seemed to be forgotten once we got outside. And I didn't remind him. I didn't want to interrupt his creative process. Then we came in and I gave him a quick basic instruction on how to use the kdenlive video editor. And an hour later, his first video edit is done. He then ordered me to upload it to youtube.

Next time he'll forbid me from writing the description, no doubt..

Previously, after asking me how hard it was to make a video, he also inquired as to how hard it is "to put fake video in a video". I finally figured out what he was asking about was how to put (specifically) minecraft computer animation into a live action video. (He probably had in mind something like this.) I said that this would be a little more complicated. And by a little, I meant a lot. So, his (apparent) plans for digitally replacing himself on the skateboard with a minecraft character were dropped.... for now.

Also, I can't at all explain the sudden skipping.

Or the green.

(The one alternation I did make in the above video is the slight censorship of Istra at one point -- lest Em be arrested for posting this. Speaking of Istra, yes, I had advised Istra to wash her face... but oh no, that was just apparently another example of clueless oppression of free artistic expression from old Pops.)

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Skater Em & Dandy Istra



Can't keep the kid off his board! We'll still have to get him those pads sometime...

(Attention family! Note the knees! No scrapes!)

[P.S. While I was putting the video together I was showing it to Eme and on a clip preview which had the first fall looping... Eme thought it was hilarious... so we put it into the completed video. That's why it's there.]

Friday, 19 April 2013

Behold, the crimson robed kindergarten conqueror

Who is this vaguely familiar guy? Surprise, it's Em!

Wow. The school photo situation these days around here is crazy! There have been three photo days now! And we had no idea they were going to dress the poor defenseless kindergarten graduate up like this for this one! I still can't believe it.

And then they start posing him with props even...

Just look how much fun he's having. (I can't believe they actually got him to cooperate with this. He hates having his picture taken, most of the time.)

And do try to stop laughing. If you laugh, Em will forbid you from looking at him for at least the rest of the day. Perhaps the rest of his life. Just saying... from experience.

Sure it's cute, in a way... if you can get past the strained, uncomfortable and unnatural visage... but, wow. Just wow. Kindergarten these days. I can't believe it.

I have to hand it to the photographers though... they really know how to milk the schools!





Wednesday, 17 April 2013

My craft, your craft, we all wonder what's mine craft?

Many have been seeking from Eme an elusive document known as his birthday gift list. He did make one a while, back, but it seems to have gotten lost. So tonight I had him recreate it. I had him recreate it mainly for my convenience, for reasons that may soon become apparent; but.here for everyone is the all-but incomprehensible (to the uninitiated in the arcane craft of mine) list, exactly as his soon-to-be-six-year-old fingers bullet-listed it on my laptop:
  • Minecraft: Cheat pack mod.
  • Skate Board.
  • Minecraft: ChistmasCraft Mod.
  • My little pony.
  • Minecraft Account.
  • Minecraft: TrapCraft Mod
It is the background colour he chose to publish behind it, also. The font he chose (which you're lucky is likely is not showing up for you) is Excalibur Logotype.

You may notice (besides a couple of anomalies) a theme. And also that the lad is a bit of a Brony.

The "mods" are add-ons for the Minecraft computer game Eme has basically grown up on and continues to be obsessed with. He knows more about Minecraft mods than I do, from watching fan-made videos. But, alas, he is not able yet to install them himself. In fact they are generally a pain to install, and extremely tedious to maintain, even for me. They are free creations made by Minecraft players (which is convenient and nice), but as such, they are often incompatible with current versions of Minecraft, have conflicts with other mods, and sometimes make the game unstable. Also, while curious and fun for a bit, they tend to completely unbalance the game/simulation as it is played in normally (and so I can't very well install them in our regular game world without destroying it).

Emeth's Christmas list from last Christmas was fairly similar to the above list, but just with different mods. For Christmas he desperately wanted "Creeps and Weirdos mod", and "PortalCraft mod". Istra additionally most wanted "Shapeshifter mod" (which lets you turn into animals and other creatures). So I finally buckled down back then and figured out ways to hunt down and install different needed versions of Minecraft in their own little sandboxes, and get the desired mods working in individual environments. It worked well, though it hasn't been without headaches. It looks like I'll be making a bunch more of these modded worlds in the coming days...

While everyone else continues to scratch their head and ponder what in the world he actually wants for his birthday. Just get him socks.

Emeth's redstone madness
Above is an image from one of Emeth's latest creations. Looking at it will be even more incomprehensible than his list! I've often described Minecraft as a sort of super "virtual lego", where you live in, build, dig and explore the blocky worlds. There are, however, many other aspects to Minecraft. One other aspect is a sort of basic electronics simulation. You use a substance called "redstone dust" to create trails that are used as wires. You can hook these wires up in crude looking circuits to relays, switches, pistons, various power sources, and other select objects. Emeth spends hours doing this. He doesn't really understand a lot of the reasons behind what is happening, but he just keeps fiddling and making things do things, and trying to copy ideas he gets from videos of other people creating things, until he comes up with the most fantastical and bizarre Rube Goldberg machines. Like the one above (which I won't even begin to try to describe what happens when it is fully powered up). He dreams of using all these devices to create an epic "adventure map" one day. ("Adventure maps" are packaged Minecraft worlds created by someone for others to play. They usually have puzzles, challenges, and often a bit of a story line told through signs and books placed in the game world.)

He also desperately wants to program his own mods. But that's a whole other story...

Maybe when he's seven years old...?!

Monday, 25 March 2013

ASCII Emeth

It can be surprising what catches a kid's imagination. Who would think that in this age of 3D photo-realistic virtual reality that the kids, for example, would become obsessed with an old text-based ("ASCII") aquarium animation screensaver (aka ASCIIquarium) I have kicking around. Well they did here. So much so, that Em was determined to start drawing his own fish with just characters on the keyboard. And he did. Behold,the work of Em!

 ___________/|
/.    )))    |
\___________ |
  \_\ \_\   \|
Inspired by his inspiration, I dug up an ASCII image converter, and present so you now with the artist himself, transformed, ASCII Emeth!


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